The village square is looking very pretty this year.
There are lights on Christmas trees outside the houses and holly wreaths on the doors.
But this calm and peaceful scene conceals domestic turmoil going on inside. Couples have almost come to blows about the appropriateness or otherwise of the lights they've chosen.
Should they be warm white, ice blue or multi-coloured?
The pub looks like something from Las Vegas but we're all delighted because at least it's looking cheerful. And none of the lights is flashing.
A woman has complained that the tree looks a bit like a...
Between all us villagers, we've seen a few knobs in our time. I'm told some look like parsnips, bananas or even anteaters' noses.
We're trying to find out who the woman was who complained. We want to take a long, hard look at her husband's crotch to see if there is anything spiky poking out. Or possible a bauble or two.
Imagine it. A Christmas tree in your underpants.
In the meantime, we've taken to walking up and down the road past the pub's Christmas tree to try to make sense of this novel description.
We're hoping it will be like one of those pictures which at first sight appear to be a load of dots until, if you stare at it long enough, it suddenly jumps out at you.
Or perhaps not.
What do you think?
Love Maddie x
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