Mad hats, union flags and afternoon tea: a very English royal wedding
The union flags fluttered in the breeze as Champagne-Charlie walked into the village shop for dog food and a paper.
He doffed his top hat at the shop assistant, who minutes later was serving an equally elegant Mrs Bancroft and the fragrant Mrs Putter.
We watched the wedding in between mouthfuls of bacon and scallops and sips of champagne. The Archbishop of Canterbury looked like the holy goat and the trees were brought into Westminster Abbey for Prince Charles to talk to.
hideous kinky sisters, Beatrice and Eugenie, who had come as pantomime dames for the day. Timmy Mallet and Christopher Biggins had never looked finer.
'What has she got on her head?' Champagne-Charlie said. 'It looks like something I shot in Africa.'
It knocked all of the creations at our afternoon tea party in the village hall into a cocked hat.
There were multi-coloured stovepipes, Carmen Mirandas, union flag bowlers and tiaras. But nothing topped what Beatrice was wearing. Talk about Emperor's New Clothes. I can only think they did it deliberately, knowing they'd be sitting behind the Queen so made a fashion protest at not having their mother there.
They should have taken some style advice from Champagne-Charlie's wife, Bubbles.
We waved our flags, ate our dainty sandwiches, guessed whose wedding dresses were hanging up around the hall and then tucked into wedding cake.
A splendid day. How was yours?
That's about it.
Love Maddie x