As the choir sits down to its Christmas meal in the pub, Caruso, with festive hat at a jaunty angle, fumbles around with his music.
‘I think it’s time we had a song,’ he says.
Quick as mustard, Mr Putter steps up to the podium, rapidly dishing out photocopied sheets bearing the immortal words of Donald Where’s Yer Troosers.
We all join in, much too low, and Caruso’s face is like thunder. He was thinking more along the lines of a tuneful The Holly and The Ivy in rounds.
The pub rapidly empties of customers. We fear people with tickets for the concert at the weekend might soon be asking for a refund.
And then, like a saviour, Caruso redeems us all with a beautiful rendition of William Butler Yeats’ poem, He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven, in song.
Mr Putter makes an emotional speech about how much he has enjoyed our singing evenings, expresses his deep love for Caruso (but not in a weird way as he squeezes the knee of his fragrant wife) and we all applaud.
Caruso thanks me, of all people, because some months ago after Dudley’s wake and too many glasses of wine I persuaded him to revive the choir.
We raise our glasses to dear Dudley’s memory, a wine bottle falls over – rather like Dudley used to after too many glasses of Grand Marnier – and then Caruso sneezes five times in a row.
One more and it would have been equivalent to an orgasm.
My dears, oh what a rock star life I do lead.
That’s about it
Love Maddie x
They're playing Drink Up Thy Zider at Bristol City's ground, Ashton Gate. It's their song. So we drink up our cider and h...
The incense hits my nostrils as soon as I enter the church. We're at the back, listening to the chanting. The candle-style light bulbs...
We've got a table reserved for four and we're in poll position. Once we've feasted we'll be out of the starting blocks and...
It's been hotter than a hot thing in August since we arrived in Corfu. I don't like moaning but it's been too hot. Some of th...
We've just picked up a vehicle for my big brother from Kostas and Antonis at the appropriately-named Sunrise Car Hire. They'r...