Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Why I'm airing my dirty washing in public

I stagger across the square with a laundry basket on my hip. The washing machine has busted, a month after its first birthday and year's warranty. I am grateful Mrs Bancroft is on the Grand Tour because I can sneak in and use her very sleek and silent washing machine while she is away.
It purrs like a very quiet cat, unlike my Hoover which made so much bloody noise the other night when it was spinning Mr Grigg's boxers I thought it was the Hadron Collider. An imprint on the outside suggested a very solid alien inside desperately attempting to escape. I checked to make sure the pets were all accounted for and then rang the Hoover man.

This morning, he inspects the machine and tells me a large bolt has sheered off inside. I now have to wait another week for it to be fixed.

I wander across the road in the rain with my washing basket, looking out for stray Porsches. If it's a deliciously-sounding throaty engine, it'll be Mrs Chocs-Away. Or it could be a local builder whose smile takes up the entire windscreen. I want to avoid being run over by Celebrity Farmer in his babe magnet. Those of the jealous variety dismiss his new toy as being made up of two different cars joined in the middle.

'And, besides,' says one. 'The Porsche Boxter is a girl's car.'

Celeb has so far avoided the obvious accessory of a self-obsessed teenage airhead in the front seat (not for want of trying, I may add). As you know, he has instead taken his lovely and wise gran (90+) out for a spin. Although if he ever ends up with jailbait he could always escape dressed as a washerwoman.

That's about it

Love Maddie x


  1. As one who has been carrying baskets of washing to the launderette in our local town, I can empathise. Our elderly Hotpoint passed on last week after 11 years of service and I am awaiting a new one right now. Still no Porsches to dodge here.

  2. Maddie, only you could make the tale of a broken washer into a delightful word image of village life!

  3. Did you disguise the basket?
    Were you wearing fuzzy slippers as you schlepped across the road?
    I have an image in my mind, and it is very odd.........

  4. I agree...girl's car!! ex had one...say no more!!!

  5. Isn't this always the case, a day after the warranty expires, the things break ?
    Appliances used to last twenty-odd years, or at least mine have, now your lucky if they last a couple, hence the push for the ever- present extended warranty 'gag'.
    Costs as much as the machine but can you afford not to have it ?
    I'm picturing you carrying your laundry basket on your hip, just like 'th old days ;)

  6. Thanks for your comments, gals. Do you know, if the parish pump in the middle of the square actually worked, rather than be a 'feature' and surrounded by newly-planted bulbs, I could do my washing there for all to see. And have a gossip.

  7. Have just come across your blogs, and have taken to them immensely. Love the dash across the square. Our village pump got a raw deal when a publican [or so he swore he was] bought the local twenty or more years ago, 'accidentally' knocked it over and then installed a car park over it and its environs for his pub. Public outcry? There was none.

    I'll be back!


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