My new kitchen island unit has just arrived.
Island? It's more like a small continent. I'm half expecting to find Dr Livingstone in the middle drawer with a large tribe of pygmies in the bottom and Thomas Cook selling tour tickets at the top.
I always get the size wrong. A few years ago, seduced by the DFS adverts, I went out looking for a sofa and came back with two huge settees and a large armchair. In the showroom, they looked in proportion. And besides, there was a sale on (is there ever a time when there isn't a sale on at DFS?). Two delivery men and much huffing and puffing, shunting and shoving later, the sofas were sitting opposite each other in my long living room.
'It looks like a railway carriage now,' Mr Grigg said, looking across at me.
'Yes,' I shouted, on the edge of the seat and my feet swinging, not touching the ground. 'And we're The Borrowers.'
The only time I had a double wardrobe was for five minutes until the man who made it gave up trying to get it up the stairs and told me I'd need to get two single ones.
The kitchen island unit is beautifully crafted by Exmoor Furniture. I have been on a six-month waiting list for it, so it seems like today, on St Patrick's Day, I have given birth. But to a giant rather than a leprechaun.
It is sitting in the hall, looking eerily like the shipping container that went on show at Tate Modern last year. Spot the difference in the pictures below - the second one shows the Pygmies coming out of my island unit.
It's now waiting for two strong and nimble men (Mr Grigg and Mr Sheepwash) to carry it to its intended destination. The kitchen.
It's a good job I didn't get the big one.
That's about it
Love Maddie x
Down in the depths, Boris and his sirens have slunk into the shadows. 'There is no plan,' they say in unison, sniggering behind...
In a parallel universe, my book, Good Morning Corfu: A Year on a Greek Island is going down very well, like ouzo and iced water in the vi...
Living in Greece for the past couple of months, I've been asked what the refugee situation is like here. Well, to be perfectly hones...
We've just picked up a vehicle for my big brother from Kostas and Antonis at the appropriately-named Sunrise Car Hire. They'r...
While thinking today about my speech for Number One Daughter's wedding on Saturday, and in between times when I should have been working...