Thursday, 3 September 2009

It's all relative if you Google it

While thinking today about my speech for Number One Daughter's wedding on Saturday, and in between times when I should have been working on my freelance stuff and a 4,000-word critical analysis on soap operas, I've been looking out the window at the mobile library. I though our publicans were in for some luck after seeing the end of the rainbow going down their chimney.

And then I started playing around with Google. Bloody fatal.

Far From The Madding Crowd was on my mind, because as you know, the rumour is that it is about to be remade in these parts. From there, I got to Jonathan Firth, who starred in a TV remake of the 1967 John Schlesinger film classic.

Jonathan is Colin's brother.

(I know which one I prefer).

Then I wondered if Peter Firth was their cousin. I say cousin because to look at him he could never be their brother. Oh all right, maybe the wrong side of the blanket then.

Peter Firth played Scooper in the 1970s television series Here Comes the Double Deckers. Were the three Firths related? Google said 'no' but threw up some obscene comparison about the length of Peter Firth's acting career and Colin Firth's penis.

From there I got to the Double Deckers' cast list and wondered what those child actors were doing now. So I went to Wikipedia and clicked through them one by one. I knew about Firth and Brinsley Forde's later careers (the latter was a founder member of Aswad) but I was astonished by the subsequent career of Doughnut, the stereotyped fat boy played by Douglas Simmonds:

Douglas Simmonds (born 18 February 1958 in England), is a British child actor who played the part of Doughnut in the UK television show Here Come the Double Deckers.

Douglas left acting to work in science and medicine, training as a medical student before becoming a theoretical physicist and researcher. Whilst working on string theory, he later expanded this theory to include toroidal hyperspaces. After working for several years for the Department of Health as an expert in Medical Computing he retired and is now a researcher in ancient glyptic art.

Someone must have made that up. Doughnut? String theory?

As comedian Dave Gorman said on Radio 4's Chain Reaction last night, if you want to be a writer, don't be connected to the internet. It gets in the way of disciplined, constructive thought and the storywriting process. I've just googled Dave Gorman to see what he looked like. I recognised his voice but up until that point, I thought he was John Gorman from The Scaffold. Maybe they're father and son.

I know, let's Google it.

That's about it

Love Maddie x


  1. Oh Maddie - don't - as if I haven't got enough to occupy my time without having the distraction of Google as well. Now where was I the other day when someone didn't have a computer (I know - very strange) - but we were waxing lyrical about life, etc and I wanted to check some facts (can't remember what they were), but I couldn' computer/no google...I felt almost shaky at the thought. Good job I was home a couple of hours later. What did anyone ever do without Google? PS, sorry about the, ahem, photo on my blog...x

  2. I love your blog simply for the mention of Jonathan Firth. :) Peter is of no relation to the Firth brothers, but great all the same.


    Amanda Renée

  3. Just over on a quickie visit to say your comment on my blog really made me laugh! Thankyou! Off to the doggy hotel now to see if they really do have wide screen TVs...

  4. I couldn't believe it when you got to Peter Firth....nobody ever remembers him from Double Deckers. I did a Google search on Gillian Bailey (Billie) a while back and someone commented on my blog that she's now a doctor of some kind.

  5. Well that blew me away. I never knew Peter Firth was in the Double Deckers. I used to love that show.
    As for Doughnut and his string theory - are you sure they didn't mean string cheese?

  6. Google is fatal. Just step away from the computer (and let me through!).

  7. The hours I've wasted on google - it's addictive. I had much more time when there was only an encyclopedia to consult.
    How are you doing with your wedding speech?

  8. Totally agree about Google. Mind you, I've started using - mainly for the pictures, I have to confess - but they have interest-piquing questions on the home page that just lead you away from what you were supposed to be doing and up some totally blind alley.

    Yes, the Doughnut piece sounds totally made up but you could probably spend a couple of days on Google trying to get to the bottom of it. Best not go there.

    PS Thank you for your comment on mine - now I see wedding plans are uppermost in your mind, too. And, yes, sex at 48 comment was a total bloody cheek!

  9. Oh so true! Never mind the Google trails it is the blog trails that I waste many a happy hour on!
    (Colin is my fave! & Peter was great in Spooks)

  10. colin. aka eye candy. the thing about doughnut could very well have been fake, after all it is wikipedia.


A horror film for Halloween

On Halloween, I head out under the cover of darkness, a tub of sweets by the front door for young trick or treaters on the prowl with their ...