Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Back home

I am missing out on village life. While I was feeling claustrophobic in London until I reached the leafy suburbs of my friend's house, Mr Grigg and friends ran a coffee morning in the village hall. Then a hen party complete with woman in bridal veil descended on the pub and ordered the full karaoke and Mr Grigg was invited to dinner at the St John love nest.

My only contribution to the coffee morning was buying and labelling the tombola prizes, which I bought at Lidls. This shop is the only reason I ever venture into the war zone of Chard, the birthplace of powered fight.

I am reliably informed that Celebrity Farmer has a new (as yet unseen) woman on his arm. A herd of cows trampled a walker from the other side of the county, Tuppence's lawn looks like it has been cut for hay and Masterchef winner Mat Follas's new restaurant is beginning to take shape in a nearby town.

We are waiting with bated breath to see CF's new friend, although if she fell for his radio mic and mini-disc recorder in London she can't be all that bright. I recall meeting a very attractive young lady at one of CF's parties who had all the men inwardly gasping when she told them she was 'in advertising'. I think it was telesales for a local paper.

The trampled woman escaped with bruised ribs but is now hitting out at farmers (not CF) who allow 'dangerous' cows and their calves in fields where there are footpaths. She did not allude to the fact that she had two dogs on leads. As any fule no, if you are ever in this situation you should let the dogs go. The cows are naturally protecting their young and it's the dogs they're after, not you.

There is a quiz going on in the village hall tonight but we are not going. We will get short shrift, for sure, from Nobby Odd-Job, who is involved in organising it. But Mr Grigg has only just come home from work. And besides, we thought we'd give someone else a chance.

That's about it
Love Maddie x


  1. Such a lot goes on in your part of the world - I'm glad you're there to record it.
    I look forward to learing more about CF's new woman. There are no celebrity farmers here - just lots of fellows in boots and plaid flannel jackets.......oh, and ball caps.

  2. That's better! Sounds like your feeling happier for being home again. Great post
    PS what is 'powered fight'?? or should that read 'flight?? or 'Powdered' I like the idea of'powdered fights'!

  3. I cannot tell you how excited I was to read this!! E and I went on a anniversary jaunt many years ago and ended up at the country's bleakest hotel. God it was grim. Desperate to cheer ourselves up we drove around and came across Chard, the birthplace of powered flight! We've been laughing about it ever since and now someone else who can see the deep amusement in it. Aaah, will have to direct E here. My aunt lives very near here so always feel a bit mean laughing about it all so heartily. But still do.

  4. It's meant to be 'flight' after John Stringfellow, the inventor of powered flight, who lived in Chard.
    However, as a former pupil of the Chard school of hard knocks, I can testify it is definitely 'fight'.

  5. Have you noticed that when someone dies (or nearly dies) "saving" their dog from impending doom, that the dog usually survives? I loved the idea that Chard is the birthplace of powered fight. There are a few places round here that could lay claim to that one too.


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